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Subject: Houston's new soccer team
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votuan22 [del] to
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The Houston '1836'. That's right our name is a freakin number. I thought the 'Texans' was the worst we could do...but they just had to prove me wrong. F.C (place word here) would have been better.
T.Vo
T.Vo
1836 is when Texas claimed it's independence from Mexico. Or in other words, when Chuck Norris was born from a mother without a father.
You think you know Chuck Norris?
Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
In an average living room there are 1, 242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Every year on his birthday, Chuck norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.This has nothing to do with his ancestory. The man ate a fucking indian!!
Chuck Norris kills 14 white people at the end of every week just to prove he isn’t racist.
Chuck Norris likes to “knit sweaters” in his spare time, and by “knit” I mean “kick”, and by “sweaters” I mean “babies”.
Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes so he can “accidentally” roundhouse kick kids in the neck.
A cashier once asked Chuck Norris, “Paper or plastic.” Chuck Norris replied, “If you say so, ” and roundhouse kicked her in the face.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.
Chuck Norris graduated from school with a degree in Chuck Norris.
Every-time Chuck Norris leaves a room full of people the song There Goes My Hero starts playing out of no where.
Chuck Norris has only ever given one thumbs down. It happened in ancient Rome during a Gladiator match. Caesar refused to make decisions without first consulting Chuck Norris. He gave the thumbs down because this particular Gladiator is the only person ever to survive a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the jugular. Unfortunately, Caesar didn't see his sign because of all the Romans standing and cheering and in a moment of panic, Caesar decided to allow the Gladiator to live. Rome fell the next day.
If your favorite song is "Alive" by Pearl Jam, Chuck Norris wants you to think again.
Contrary to popular belief, it was Chuck Norris, not Angelina Jolie, that broke up Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt.
G.I. Joe was originally titled: G.I. Chuck Norris, but Hasbro thought that the doll was too manly and would scare small children. They kept the Kung-fu gip.
Chuck Norris began studying martial arts in preparation for his 10th High School reunion, at which he planned to "teach a lesson" to his old flame, Mario Lopez.
Deeming his too awesome for the world of mortal men or heaven, God attempted to destroy Chuck Norris by swallowing him. However Chuck Norris beat the shit out of God's insides, causing God to vomit him out. This led to the popular euphamism for vomiting, "Up-Chuck".
Chuck Norris created a circle with corners.
Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick his other leg.
The letters in Chuck Norris' name can be rearranged to spell doom in twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.
Chuck Norris got banned from the state of Florida after he roundhouse kicked a dolphin at Seaworld.
Chuck Norris can do 0 to 60 in 4 seconds on a ladies' bicycle without pedalling.
Chuck Norris is currently suing the band Earth, Wind and Fire, claiming that he is all three combined.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because using knives to kill people was just too easy.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris knows a wrong way to eat a Reeses.
If you don't know who your biological father is, it's probably Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he does not push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
In an average living room there are 1, 242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Every year on his birthday, Chuck norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.This has nothing to do with his ancestory. The man ate a fucking indian!!
Chuck Norris kills 14 white people at the end of every week just to prove he isn’t racist.
Chuck Norris likes to “knit sweaters” in his spare time, and by “knit” I mean “kick”, and by “sweaters” I mean “babies”.
Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes so he can “accidentally” roundhouse kick kids in the neck.
A cashier once asked Chuck Norris, “Paper or plastic.” Chuck Norris replied, “If you say so, ” and roundhouse kicked her in the face.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.
Chuck Norris graduated from school with a degree in Chuck Norris.
Every-time Chuck Norris leaves a room full of people the song There Goes My Hero starts playing out of no where.
Chuck Norris has only ever given one thumbs down. It happened in ancient Rome during a Gladiator match. Caesar refused to make decisions without first consulting Chuck Norris. He gave the thumbs down because this particular Gladiator is the only person ever to survive a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the jugular. Unfortunately, Caesar didn't see his sign because of all the Romans standing and cheering and in a moment of panic, Caesar decided to allow the Gladiator to live. Rome fell the next day.
If your favorite song is "Alive" by Pearl Jam, Chuck Norris wants you to think again.
Contrary to popular belief, it was Chuck Norris, not Angelina Jolie, that broke up Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt.
G.I. Joe was originally titled: G.I. Chuck Norris, but Hasbro thought that the doll was too manly and would scare small children. They kept the Kung-fu gip.
Chuck Norris began studying martial arts in preparation for his 10th High School reunion, at which he planned to "teach a lesson" to his old flame, Mario Lopez.
Deeming his too awesome for the world of mortal men or heaven, God attempted to destroy Chuck Norris by swallowing him. However Chuck Norris beat the shit out of God's insides, causing God to vomit him out. This led to the popular euphamism for vomiting, "Up-Chuck".
Chuck Norris created a circle with corners.
Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick his other leg.
The letters in Chuck Norris' name can be rearranged to spell doom in twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.
Chuck Norris got banned from the state of Florida after he roundhouse kicked a dolphin at Seaworld.
Chuck Norris can do 0 to 60 in 4 seconds on a ladies' bicycle without pedalling.
Chuck Norris is currently suing the band Earth, Wind and Fire, claiming that he is all three combined.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because using knives to kill people was just too easy.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris knows a wrong way to eat a Reeses.
If you don't know who your biological father is, it's probably Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he does not push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.
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