Subject: Alcohol warning labels

Liquor manufacturers have
accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning
labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

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1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
the hell happened to your bra and panties.

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2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

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3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like a retard.

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4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your
friends over and over again that you love them.

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5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you
can sing.

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6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.

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7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
are laughing WITH you.

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10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you
are invisible.

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12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in
the time-space continuum, leaving you unable to account for large
chunks of time.

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13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have
mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

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14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over
in the morning and see something really scary.

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15. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

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16. WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcohol may Mkae yu tink you kan
tpye reel gode

Hahaha

:)

Somewhere a long time ago, I had the 5 stages of drunkeness...

Something along the lines of:
courageous
good looking
deaf
bulletproof
invisible