Subpage under development, new version coming soon!
Subject: Moppentopic
ahja, MOH, als er ongepaste tussenzitten, laat ge het maar weten eh :)
Do you know why a Croat gets hard when he is looking at the mirror.
He sees a pussy.
Van mij mag het, maarre... van wie hebt gij die mop gehoord? En wanneer? :)
He sees a pussy.
Van mij mag het, maarre... van wie hebt gij die mop gehoord? En wanneer? :)
Net gelezen op international :)
The president from Austria says to swiss president:
Hello, the swiss people often laugh about the austrians. We want to laugh about the swiss too, you must build a bridge across the land.
3 years later, the austrian president says, we laughed enough. You can remove the bridge, but the swiss president says: No, a lot of austrians are fishing on the bridge.
lol
The president from Austria says to swiss president:
Hello, the swiss people often laugh about the austrians. We want to laugh about the swiss too, you must build a bridge across the land.
3 years later, the austrian president says, we laughed enough. You can remove the bridge, but the swiss president says: No, a lot of austrians are fishing on the bridge.
lol
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes
by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"
"OH DEAR GOD NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!" His
staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the
president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks
up and asks... "How many is a Brazillion??!"
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"
"OH DEAR GOD NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!" His
staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the
president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks
up and asks... "How many is a Brazillion??!"
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
OK. Tis dat dit de eerste keer is dat ik een mop over Kroaten hoor/lees. En tis vandaag net de verjaardag van wijlen Slobodan Milosevic. :)
Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa can I have some beer too?"
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked back.
"No"
"Well, than your not big enough"
Granpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette.
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked again.
"No"
"Well, than your not big enough"
Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?"
Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?"
Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough."
Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go fuck yourself, these are my cookies"
hihi :)
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked back.
"No"
"Well, than your not big enough"
Granpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny sees this and asks for a cigarette.
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked again.
"No"
"Well, than your not big enough"
Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?"
Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?"
Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough."
Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go fuck yourself, these are my cookies"
hihi :)
A duck walks into a bar and pops a question
Duck: Do you have bread?
Bartender: No
Duck: Do you have bread?
Bartender: No, we don't
Duck: Do you have bread?
Bartender: No, we don't have any damn bread
Duck: Do you have bread?
Bartender: No, and if you ask one more time I will nail you to the bardesk, annoying piece of shit!
Duck: Do you have nails?
Bartender: No
Duck: Do you have bread?
^^
Duck: Do you have bread?
Bartender: No
Duck: Do you have bread?
Bartender: No, we don't
Duck: Do you have bread?
Bartender: No, we don't have any damn bread
Duck: Do you have bread?
Bartender: No, and if you ask one more time I will nail you to the bardesk, annoying piece of shit!
Duck: Do you have nails?
Bartender: No
Duck: Do you have bread?
^^
Inebriated drinker says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $47.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.
The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $47.00.
The drunk says," I haven't got it."
The bartender can't believe it, so he picks the guy up, beats the living day lights out of him, and throws him out into the street.
The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the bill."
In disgust the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?'
The drunk replies, "No, you get violent when you drink."
hehe :)
So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $47.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.
The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $47.00.
The drunk says," I haven't got it."
The bartender can't believe it, so he picks the guy up, beats the living day lights out of him, and throws him out into the street.
The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the bill."
In disgust the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?'
The drunk replies, "No, you get violent when you drink."
hehe :)
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while
taking a bath.
"Mom", he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet", she replied.
haha, prachtig :)
taking a bath.
"Mom", he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet", she replied.
haha, prachtig :)
A lawer just got home from work. As he stepped out of his BMW, a speeding car ripped off the door. As the lawyer jumped up and down cussing and swearing, a cop who was driving by stopped. He rolled down the window and said, “What's wrong?”
The lawyer replied, “That idiot, speeding down the street, ripped off my BMW's door!”
The cop said, “You lawyers make me sick. You worry too much about your possesions. If you weren't blinded by greed, you would notice that your arm got ripped off!”
“Oh no!” cried the lawyer, “My Rolex!”
The lawyer replied, “That idiot, speeding down the street, ripped off my BMW's door!”
The cop said, “You lawyers make me sick. You worry too much about your possesions. If you weren't blinded by greed, you would notice that your arm got ripped off!”
“Oh no!” cried the lawyer, “My Rolex!”
One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers "what it
means to be British?" Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one
from
a chap in Switzerland....
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish
kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows
on a
Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?
... Suspicion of anything foreign
means to be British?" Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one
from
a chap in Switzerland....
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish
kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows
on a
Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?
... Suspicion of anything foreign
A little boy is waiting for his mum to come out of the changing room while shopping with her. The little boy gets bored and when his mum comes out, she finds him sliding his hand up a mannequin's skirt.
"Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?" The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn't get bitten. For the next ten years, this little boy grows up thinking all women have teeth between their legs. Wen he's 16, he finds himself a girl. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over for a little action.
After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says: "You know, you could go a little further if you want." "What do you mean?" he asks. "Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she says, pointing to her crotch. "Hell no," he cries, "you've got teeth down there." "Don't be ridiculous," she responds, "there's no teeth there." "Yes there are," he says, "my mum told me so." "No there aren't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek.
"No I'm sorry" he says. "My mum already told me that all women have teeth down there." "Oh for Christ's sake!" she cries. She whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head, and says, "Look, I don't have any teeth down there." The boy takes a good long look, then replies: "Well, with the condition of those gums I'm not surprised!"
"Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?" The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn't get bitten. For the next ten years, this little boy grows up thinking all women have teeth between their legs. Wen he's 16, he finds himself a girl. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over for a little action.
After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says: "You know, you could go a little further if you want." "What do you mean?" he asks. "Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she says, pointing to her crotch. "Hell no," he cries, "you've got teeth down there." "Don't be ridiculous," she responds, "there's no teeth there." "Yes there are," he says, "my mum told me so." "No there aren't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek.
"No I'm sorry" he says. "My mum already told me that all women have teeth down there." "Oh for Christ's sake!" she cries. She whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head, and says, "Look, I don't have any teeth down there." The boy takes a good long look, then replies: "Well, with the condition of those gums I'm not surprised!"