Subject: Inspriration needed

you miserable twunt!

What happened to the spirit of giving at christmas! You should be ashamed with yourself!

giving meaningful people meaningful things yes.

giving random people i couldn't give a flying monkeys about pieces of plastic manufactured in china, well, no, actually.

Basically, you've been suckered into feeding the economy.
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It is still like feeding the goat...


just emotionally

NCN's calendar goes from 24 to 26 in December. There is no Christmas.
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i like the £5 of lottery tickets option: could be the best gift they ever got... or the worst

Yeah, great idea with the lottery ticket.

My ex mrs got them for gift at our wedding - 13 tenners and a £77 were well received.

I got a kick going into the newsagents asking for that many random tickets all on individual tickets.

If it's a chick, try and find an "amusing" novelty vibrator. It's secret, they'll never find out it was you.

Some links:

Jumbo love beads
What can only be described as a butt plug

Just realised either for a bird, and second one for a bloke. Fiver each.

Unfortunately my poker face is no good at that sort of thing and I would inevitably give the game away.

Wouldn't matter. Excuse yourself to go to the loo at some point. That increases the chances of you returning as the hilarity is in full flow. Simply join in.
Also, unless you work with someone particularly devious (like me), everyone will be watching the presentee rather than looking round for guilty/amused faces. Simply standing/sitting with the devious people reduces that, as they'll be looking across the group rather than next to them.

Anyway, I've drawn the new guy at work. He happens to be a shorter, slighter version of our manager. He has been named "Minime" for obvious reasons. An Austin Powers related gift coming his way, although I'm not sure he knows we call him minime. Which is nice. We've got a budget up to a tenner, so I could probably get the love eggs ;)

What would you get your boss then, love ostrich eggs?

Nah, they're fifteen quid.

The joy in secret santa present buying has to be the secretness of it and seeing what you can get away with.

I picked a girl last year that had been on maternity leave for what seemed like a whole year. Before this time and not being at the company very long, i bizzarely tried asking her in the most genuine way you could ask if she was pregnant.

Needless to say i got a bollocking in front of HR...2 months later she proudly told the office she was pregnant!

Anyway, i got her a candle from Boots that was coated in gold glitter.

Serves her right.

Woppa has the right idea.

Secret Santa = porn/sex related gifts.

My missus always ends up getting something really thoughtful and useful for under a fiver, and not involving porn or sex. God knows how she does it.