Subject: Football Dictionary

Some of these tickled me, anyone got any more ? Jaize ? ;)

abramovich n, cashpoint (Rus.)
barton n. A training routine, esp. in prison.
Barwick n, a ginger tache.
bergkamp n, holding area for the distressed at airports
bigron n, unthinking racial slur; any comment that hasn't been thought through
blatter v, to put forward an idea without thinking it through e.g. 'He blattered a bigron and everyone laughed him out of town'
cantona n, a poor actor; v, aloof, hoity-toity
Cantonese n, what a Cantona speaks; b******s.
Capello n, specialist school for rich reprobates.
cristiano n, hair-gel; a wink; the act of falling over unnecessarily.
dickov n, go away
FA n, Football Association; Faria Alam; eff-all.
fabregas n, portable fuel for caravans, etc.
hansen adj, miserable; favouring negativity
hoddle v, saintly but misguided
keano n, a deliberate blow to the shin-bone
kingkev n, pointless return journey.
McClaren n, umbrella for wusses
makelele n, Scouse banjo
mancity n, in legend, a place of perpetual sorrows
maradona n, (Geordie) friend's kebab
mottie n, an obscure fact
ref n, cataract
rio adj, absent-minded; unable to urinate at a proscribed time.
rooney adj. impossible to look at, e.g 'that lady of the night is particularly rooney'
ronaldo n, a large beast with big teeth
ronaldinho n, like a ronaldo only smaller
ronaldinhoinho n, like a ronaldinho only even smaller.
savage n, a savage
schmeichel n, huge, semi-mythical Danish snowbeast, noted for red nose and ultrasonic roar
scudamore n, silly idea, prompted by financial gain.
seaman n, hairstyle induced by middle-age
sheva n, showy, overpriced, worthless trinket.
souness n, sourness (Sc.)
strachan n (Sc.) incomprehensible fire-sprite.
sven n, (onomatapoeic) the sound of silk undergarments being removed
toonarmy n, groundless optimism.
totti n, attractive women
venable n, extended period of leisure; v, to work in a tanning booth
zizou n, head-butt aimed at the chest.

Nice :)

A Norwich fan added this one, which was quite good...

Earnshaw - (1) A lack of dental facilities. (2) A serious need for braces, as in "That striker has earnshaw", or" There is an earnshaw in Wales, but the National Health says they will be opening offices and assigning positions when the new students finish their internships."

Rough - n. A Scottish goalie
Grobbelaar - n. The dance made by the first people to exit reality dancing TV shows.
Waddle - n. The moment when a football player suddenly thinks he is a rugby player.
Hoddle - v. To run with the ball over an inexplicably and overly-long distance.
Barnes - v. To fool the entire country into thinking you are good. Like bluff, only fatter. (see also Pop Dictionary under Phil Collins.)
Pearce - v. To vindicate oneself with majesty.
Fowler - n. deity (only more ugly).
Crouch - n. weather balloon.
Giggs - v. To make Arsenal look stupid.
Sherringham - n. (vulgar) female genitalia.
Hateley - v. To arrive with one's socks around one's ankles.
Brazil - n. Scotland.
Butcher - n. An English defending style popular in Sunday League.
Rix - n. A person entirely unable to tell the age of something.
Keown - n. A mask of incredible horror.
Southgate - v. To capitalise on one's mistakes.
Bridge - n. One who is paid to play without actually doing exactly that.
Groves - n. A footballing handicap system used in the eighties.
Gullit - n. A dutch mullet.
Van Basten - n. A word that sounds like an insult but is actually a great compliment.
Miller - n. An African victory dance.
Walcott - n. The geekiest gatecrasher at any party.
Lampard - n. (vulgar colloq.) Someone unable to hit a cow's backside with a banjo.
Cole - n. A person known for wandering.
Lineker - v. To invade a goalkeepers personal space.
Butt - n. An arse.
Neville - n. One who rises above their station.
Neville - n. Another who rises above their station.
Neville Neville - n. The name of their dad.
Beasant - v. To deflect things with one's hair.
Anderton - n. A disease that stretches ones face.
Lee - n. An extreme form of dwarfism.
Heskey - v. To jump without leaving the ground.
Pele - v. To exaggerate wildy about ones abilities.
Ardiles - v. To affect an accent when you already have one.
Pressman - n. Something that appears large until seen close when it is actually even larger.
Hurst - v. To be utterly sure of the point at which it is all over.
(edited)

Referee adj. Idiot. E.g that person is a real referee.

Ridsdale - to do something to complete excess, to the detriment of yourself and those around you, in a completely blinkered fashion.

e.g.
My boss is doing a Ridsdale
Me and the lads went out and got completely Ridsdale.

I think we need an SK users dictionary:

ken - a £2 transfer ie: I just bought that player for a ken
Redjim - perpetual premiership also-rans
(edited)

Gibbage -

1. To gloat excessively about overachievement
2. To complain excessively about underacheivement

Like that, you mean ? :)

Or

NorwichCityNil - 1. get to the prem and cup final, swiftly followed by relegation back to III
2. Keep on wasting money on rubbish strikers

and

norwichcitynil - changing of a username and then forgetting there were capitals in it.

You forgot to mention the election as NT after 2 consecutive elections, I'd say the following is more apt

NorwichCityNil - an extremely unlikely event.

Any idea why I can't log on using miniopera and my mobile phone ever since I changed my username ? I dropped the caps to simplify it, in case that was the problem. I'm knackered without it next week, as we're off on hols, so I'm lucky that I've only got gregs' bot to play on sunday.

NorwichCityNil - to use the transfer market excessivley, continualy buying and selling players to the detriment of the side.

Pah ! :) The one season I did that, I won the league !

Luck, that is all it was

Having a Kipper - to be pleasantly surprised after appearing to be out of your depth. ;)

Having a midget - Suffering a long series of unfortunate event. Normally involing injuries and red cards.

Don't speak too soon.

Kipper - in matches other teams players are either sent off or injured

i.e. he is a right kipper, he got both my strikers injured and my keeper sent off