Subject: Very Important Help Needed

Ok. So i have these brit friends. And, as you all know, it's near the 4th of July which is a HUUUUUGE britland holiday.

SO when they walked into my house today, i said "Pip Pip, Guvnor" and they corrected me that guvnor is more from london. They're from Southwest(?) Britland - Cornwall.

What goofy sayings come from the cornwall area so i can more appropriately tease these upright british bastages?

Thanks!

-G

"i've got a brand new combine harvester and i'll give you the key!"

You could always learn Cornish.
They won't know a word of course - because Cornwall is entirely populated by rich people in holiday homes from London - and their cleaners
(edited)

remind them that america have a long history of providing arms & funding to freedom (!) movements in the uk and tell them you donate generously to the CRA

if you want to convince them you are on the inside refer to it as the ooh arr ay

Proper job!

It is the only thing to say to a cornishman! Say it in the most Bristolian/country bumpkin accent you can muster!

Proper job is good. Drekley is another proper saying as in I`ll do it drekley meaning later, if they are proper cornish!

Also the cornish people tend to say What happened Was which is a jethro (a cornish comedian) catchphrase.

Proper job is oxfordshire

just shout "oooo arrr" alot

and tell them that camilla is a right slag.

nope. cornish. the oxbridge crowd robbed it off the kernow massive.

My lover is what my Nana and Uncle always call me and my Mum's side of the family has lived there for a lot of generations.

Apparently Launceston is prenounced Lanceston.

errr.... your uncle calls you his lover? how many fingers & toes do you have adam?

Try some Cornish jokes. This is the kind of thing that actually happens...

Visitor: "How do you do?"
Local: " 'ow be ee?"
Visitor: " It is a beautiful day."
Local: "A spoase it be."
Visitor: "Lovely part of the world, this."
Local: "Ayse."
Visitor: "Have you lived here all your life?"
Local: "Not yet."

Or,

Both Tim , the miner, and his comrade, Bob, had forgotten their pasties for croust. One of their workmates came to the rescue with a large piece of figgy 'obbin.' Tim broke it two. One chunk was rather smaller than the other and he gave this to Bob, keeping the big piece for himself.
"That 'edn fair," said Bob. "I'd never have a-done that! I'd have given you the biggest piece if I'd broken un."
"Well, I've got the biggest piece, so what are 'ee complainin' about?"

or...

Old Jan was discussing pronounciation on Penzance quay with a ship's captain from Kilmarnock.
"Now," said the Scotsman, "what do you say in this part of the world, 'nayther' or 'neether'?"
Old Jan: "Nather. Us dawn't use the expression."

you should study this place and tell them, how you have always wanted to go there and how beautiful it is. even better, claim to have been there on a visit to the UK... thn they will know you is down with the CP. (cornish pasty)

you can show off your knowledge of the cornish pasty

then for extra points mention that in the copper mines the pasty was traditionally divided by a thin wall of pastry and one section contained savoury and the other sweet. a small design in pastry was then placed on the savoury half so that the miners could tell which side was which in the dark.