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Subject: Can you spell...
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Alternative Dictionary
Winning entries:
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Negligent (adj.) , describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
AND:
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid AND an a***hole.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the Taxation Office, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these, really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
:)
Winning entries:
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Negligent (adj.) , describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
AND:
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid AND an a***hole.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the Taxation Office, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these, really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
:)
I don't know why, but this made me laugh the most.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp
(edited)
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp
(edited)
WOMEN�S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I�m sorry. = You�ll be sorry.
We need... = I want
It�s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = You�ll pay for this later. We need to talk... = I need to complain Sure...go ahead = I don�t want you to.
I�m not upset = Of course I�m upset, you moron! You�re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You�re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I�m going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you�re really not going to like.
I�ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Am I fat? = Tell me I�m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you�re dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don�t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
In response to What�s wrong?:
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Nothing, really = It�s just that you�re such an idiot!
rofl
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I�m sorry. = You�ll be sorry.
We need... = I want
It�s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = You�ll pay for this later. We need to talk... = I need to complain Sure...go ahead = I don�t want you to.
I�m not upset = Of course I�m upset, you moron! You�re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You�re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I�m going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you�re really not going to like.
I�ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Am I fat? = Tell me I�m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you�re dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don�t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
In response to What�s wrong?:
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Nothing, really = It�s just that you�re such an idiot!
rofl
clip should be entitled "bloke posts clip thinking Harley Davidson is a concert"
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