Subpage under development, new version coming soon!
Subject: There are some oldies, but for all you Spurs fans...
- 1
steelers [del] to
All
I met this really kinky girl last night. 'Humiliate me,' she said ... So I bought her a Tottenham shirt.
Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park . A town hall source said: 'We don't mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much.'
'I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make 'Tottenham Hotspur Football Club'. I was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points.'
Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours. Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks.
A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. 'What about your parents?' asks the social worker. 'No, they beat me,' says the boy. 'What about your grandparents?' says the social worker. 'No, they beat me even harder!' says the boy. 'Well ... where do you want to stay then?' replies the social worker. 'Tottenham,' says the boy. 'They don't beat anyone.
What do a toothpick and Tottenham have in common? They both have two points.
Juande Ramos, shortly after another training session, comments to the head groundsman at White Hart Lane how impressive the pitch is looking. 'It ought to,' replies the groundsman. 'We put 70 million quid's worth of manure on it every week.'
I just went down to the newsagents and bought a Tottenham Hotspur magazine. Thank goodness they had porn mags to hide it in.
What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win? Turns off the Xbox.
After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, 'No way, I ain't that special'.
Apparently the entire Tottenham squad have been busy honing their skills playing the computer game Championship Manager. Sadly it seems Juande misunderstood and thinks they want to play for a Championship manager.
Contrary to what you may think, Spurs are the strongest team in the league at the moment. Sure, aren't they holding everyone else up?
What do the Premier League and a cowboy have in common? They both have spurs at their feet.
A man was found dead floating in the Thames , wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment.
What would an improved version of Spurs be called? Newcastle United.
Did you hear that Juande Ramos was clocked doing 169mph on the M1 coming back from Stoke? Apparently he was just so desperate for three points.
Is it just me or are Spurs the team to beat this season? Everyone's at it.
A man is sitting in a pub with his jack russell dog one Sunday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner: ' Stoke City 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1,' reads the announcer. Suddenly the jack russell jumps up and shouts out, 'Oh, no, not again.' The shocked landlord says, 'That's amazing. Why did he say that when it was announced that Tottenham lost?' 'Because he's a Spurs supporter,' the dog's owner replies. The landlord then asks what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replies, 'I don't know. I've only had him six months.'
When a groggy Vedran Corluka regained consciousness in the ambulance leaving the Britannia Stadium on Sunday he asked medical staff who he was. On being told he played football for Tottenham Hotspur he lapsed into a coma.
All trains through White Hart Lane have been cancelled due to a massive points failure.
What does THFC stand for? Tottenham Heading For the Championship.
A little boy gets £10 for his birthday and rushes down to the sports shop to buy the new football he has been desperate for. He gives the ball to the shopkeeper, who says, 'Sorry, son, this ball is £20. You only have £10'. The boy says, 'OK, if you blindfold me and I can guess the name of the club on any ball, will you give it to me for £10?' He agrees and gives the boy an Arsenal ball. 'I can hear cannons blasting, so it's an Arsenal ball.' Next he gives him a Millwall ball: 'I hear lions, so it's Millwall.' Amazed, the shopkeeper says, 'Get this and you can have it for nothing.' The boy listens and says Spurs. The man asks if he's heard a cockerel. 'No,' says the boy. 'It's going down.'
What's the difference between Bigfoot and the Spurs defence? Bigfoot has been spotted several times.
Spurs have been forced to rename their ground ' White Lane ' because their 'Hart' was surgically removed when Berbatov and Keane were sold.
Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park . A town hall source said: 'We don't mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much.'
'I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make 'Tottenham Hotspur Football Club'. I was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points.'
Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours. Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks.
A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. 'What about your parents?' asks the social worker. 'No, they beat me,' says the boy. 'What about your grandparents?' says the social worker. 'No, they beat me even harder!' says the boy. 'Well ... where do you want to stay then?' replies the social worker. 'Tottenham,' says the boy. 'They don't beat anyone.
What do a toothpick and Tottenham have in common? They both have two points.
Juande Ramos, shortly after another training session, comments to the head groundsman at White Hart Lane how impressive the pitch is looking. 'It ought to,' replies the groundsman. 'We put 70 million quid's worth of manure on it every week.'
I just went down to the newsagents and bought a Tottenham Hotspur magazine. Thank goodness they had porn mags to hide it in.
What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win? Turns off the Xbox.
After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, 'No way, I ain't that special'.
Apparently the entire Tottenham squad have been busy honing their skills playing the computer game Championship Manager. Sadly it seems Juande misunderstood and thinks they want to play for a Championship manager.
Contrary to what you may think, Spurs are the strongest team in the league at the moment. Sure, aren't they holding everyone else up?
What do the Premier League and a cowboy have in common? They both have spurs at their feet.
A man was found dead floating in the Thames , wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment.
What would an improved version of Spurs be called? Newcastle United.
Did you hear that Juande Ramos was clocked doing 169mph on the M1 coming back from Stoke? Apparently he was just so desperate for three points.
Is it just me or are Spurs the team to beat this season? Everyone's at it.
A man is sitting in a pub with his jack russell dog one Sunday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner: ' Stoke City 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1,' reads the announcer. Suddenly the jack russell jumps up and shouts out, 'Oh, no, not again.' The shocked landlord says, 'That's amazing. Why did he say that when it was announced that Tottenham lost?' 'Because he's a Spurs supporter,' the dog's owner replies. The landlord then asks what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replies, 'I don't know. I've only had him six months.'
When a groggy Vedran Corluka regained consciousness in the ambulance leaving the Britannia Stadium on Sunday he asked medical staff who he was. On being told he played football for Tottenham Hotspur he lapsed into a coma.
All trains through White Hart Lane have been cancelled due to a massive points failure.
What does THFC stand for? Tottenham Heading For the Championship.
A little boy gets £10 for his birthday and rushes down to the sports shop to buy the new football he has been desperate for. He gives the ball to the shopkeeper, who says, 'Sorry, son, this ball is £20. You only have £10'. The boy says, 'OK, if you blindfold me and I can guess the name of the club on any ball, will you give it to me for £10?' He agrees and gives the boy an Arsenal ball. 'I can hear cannons blasting, so it's an Arsenal ball.' Next he gives him a Millwall ball: 'I hear lions, so it's Millwall.' Amazed, the shopkeeper says, 'Get this and you can have it for nothing.' The boy listens and says Spurs. The man asks if he's heard a cockerel. 'No,' says the boy. 'It's going down.'
What's the difference between Bigfoot and the Spurs defence? Bigfoot has been spotted several times.
Spurs have been forced to rename their ground ' White Lane ' because their 'Hart' was surgically removed when Berbatov and Keane were sold.
What would an improved version of Spurs be called? Newcastle United.
come off it... things will improve for spurs where as we are completely shagged
come off it... things will improve for spurs where as we are completely shagged
The table doesn't lie...
19th Newcastle - played 8, points 6
20th Tottenham - played 8, points 2
19th Newcastle - played 8, points 6
20th Tottenham - played 8, points 2
Where's that ker-rayzee gang spirit ?
And when are you signing Vinnie Jones ?
And when are you signing Vinnie Jones ?
he would be a great manager for us... he can just nut the owners and fans when they disagree with him. and beat the living shite out of the players until they start to perform
to be fair, i don't think there would be any shite left in them before they started to perform.
(edited)
(edited)
more to the point, get rid of the shite and there would be nothing left of the players
It's all my fault...
You see. I'm a forest fan. And Newcastle are kind of "my club"in the Prem. Well, my wife is a geordie and so whilst forest have been in the lower leagues, I kind of watch out for Newcastle. (Although I can't help but chuckle at their predicaments, unlike the snivveling and sobbing I do about forest). Also fat joe was the forest manager before Newcastle...
Anyhow, why spurs?
Well, a decent percentage of the spurs team are ex-forest, and my wife likes Dawson too as even she could tell he was quite good when he played at forest. Also it a little known fact* that "tottenham hotspur in freefall" is an anagram of "Nottingam Forest are Fabulous"
Therefore that completes the circle of "forestman's failing football-teams fan fun". Blame me. Not Ramos, Not Calderwood, Not Fat Joe. Me
*To be confirmed by dictionary corner.
You see. I'm a forest fan. And Newcastle are kind of "my club"in the Prem. Well, my wife is a geordie and so whilst forest have been in the lower leagues, I kind of watch out for Newcastle. (Although I can't help but chuckle at their predicaments, unlike the snivveling and sobbing I do about forest). Also fat joe was the forest manager before Newcastle...
Anyhow, why spurs?
Well, a decent percentage of the spurs team are ex-forest, and my wife likes Dawson too as even she could tell he was quite good when he played at forest. Also it a little known fact* that "tottenham hotspur in freefall" is an anagram of "Nottingam Forest are Fabulous"
Therefore that completes the circle of "forestman's failing football-teams fan fun". Blame me. Not Ramos, Not Calderwood, Not Fat Joe. Me
*To be confirmed by dictionary corner.
After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, 'No way, I ain't that special'.
This one really made me laugh!
This one really made me laugh!
- 1