Subject: MP wages

So if you were an MP, what would you have spent your expenses on?




Im going for a Star Wars Toy Lightsaber.

You mean military police? Yeah, lightsaber would be handy then.

Finding a home and a job for a new local resident - a Gurkha soldier!
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In an attempt to bed Joanna Lumley? Roggy, I never knew you were into milfs.

She's probably a gilf by now?

Id spent every penny available on alcohol. Id use my own money for bacon rolls, thats fair enough I think.

Nah... it's Julia Sawalha I fancy, Lumley is just the matchmaker, I can't stand smokers.

Building an island for the ducks on my lake, having my moat cleaned, let my kids live rent free, on an overpriced kitkat in a hotel room, the list is endless really.

Shucks, I've checked. Somebody already did those.

So, what is this MP anyway?

10,000 ivory back-scratchers.

There all called Robbers and they Rob us blind
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Thats a good one mate!

What a waste. Who's back is made of ivory anyway?

Ivory Man thats who...Im going to jot that down and send it to Marvel.

Sound like a good idea for a super hero.


Go Stan Lee!

Yeah...a super hero fighting against the elephant killers, even though he is made of ivory himself...!

EleBlade!

Wouldn't Ivory man be a bit, well, brittle ? inflexible ? Prone to singing songs in a major key ?
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