Subject: Bourbons vs Honey & Almond

If your dog squeezes out bourbon biscuits, you should probably take it to the vet.

My dog is the least profitable animal in my household!

Put it to work as the manufacturing arm in your new organic bourbon biscuit company.

or sell it to McVities?

smart move, get the patent for biscuit crapping dog, license it, and then sell the production facility. McVities have to clean their carpet, and you get the readies.

You've been watching Dragons Den repeats on Dave, haven't you...

You think that a biscuit crapping dog is a wonder... it is as easy as breathing compared to the miracles my GF can perform with her... Midas touch and all that.

making her the highest earning member of your household?

by far... she earns much more than I do. For real!

turning a shoelace into wood was not a biblical miracle.

Not a "biblical miracle" but certainly divine, and as proof are the godly invocations throughout.

bourbons win it 17-14