Subject: Crap Jokes

Yep, I think most of them are copied from Norris facts.

I just found that thread and noticed there was 20 more facts I haven`t added in my newspaper.

Lol!!

Chuck Norris went into burger king n asked for a big mac, and got 1.

Now, back on topic.

Chinese guy enters a pub and aproaches the barman:
-chiang siang Heineken
-two bottles of what?!

Haha, how many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them....

Sorry i only know vulger jokes :-P

I got jumped by a man armed with a cricket bat.

It knocked me for six.

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool? Bob
what do you call a man with no arms and no legs swimmig lengths in a pool? a clever dick
what do you call a man with no arms and no legs swimmig backstroke in a pool? a smart arse

the title to this thread is very very true...

we strive to achieve

A lorry carrying snooker equipment crashed on the M6 earlier today. Apparently the cues went back for miles...

Police said the driver was under a rest...

apparently the 9/11 crash is being blamed on the irish now

paddy and sean were working on the 26th floor on the day in question putting in new doors but one wasnt fitting right, so paddy turned to sean and told him to go get a plane to take a bit off the top..


how long does it take for a babys head to explode in a microwave?

..i dont know i was too busy w*nk*ng

whats pink and fluffy?

pink fluff

what do you call a woman with 2 uneven legs?

Eileen
(edited)

The 3 Little Pigs - A modern fairytale

..... and the big bad wolf stood at the door and said "LET ME IN! or I'll HUFF, and I'll PUFF, and I'll BLOW your house down!"

and the little pig replied "F*** off or I'll sneeze on you!"

so the big, bad wolf kicked the little pig's head in as he wasn't a pregnant lady wolf and had already taken his Tamiflu.

Mmmmm! Crackling.

A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent on seeing the Pope. There he stood, in a big long line with a rather expensive suit on, hoping the Pope would notice how smart he was and perhaps talk a few words with him.

As the Pope made his way slowly down the line, he walked right past the American, hardly even noticing him.

The Pope then stopped next to a low-life sort, leaned over and whispered something in the sort's ear, and made his way on again.

This really angered the American. After speaking with the drunkard, the American agreed to pay $1000 dollars to exchange clothing, in the hope that the Pope would speak to him the next day.

The next morning the American stood in the line, waiting to see the Pope and hopefully exchange a few words. The Pope was making his way slowly up to the American. When he finally reached him, he leaned over to the American and spoke softly into his ear..

"I thought I told you yesterday to get the f**k out of here."

Theres a zoo with only one animal in, which is a dog.
Must have been a Shih Tzu.


(If you don't get it, try saying it out loud)

free willy went to a party

he had a whale of a time!

(just thought this crap joke up, thank you ;))

Well done...And your right it was a crap joke!