Subject: Seasonal Flu

The Fascist Directorate otherwise kown as HR have just sent round an email offering free flu vaccines to all employees, because, apparently:

'Nobody wants the flu – it can ruin weekends, parties and holidays! What’s more, we’d miss you if you got sick and weren’t able to come into work!'

How sweet. Probably has nothing to do with the fact that each £1 spent on vaccination saves something like £10 to the company.

I like the way they pretend to care about your non-working hours, how sweet.

I assume they don't subscribe to the fact that getting a flu vaccine whilst not actually ill can make things a lot worse?

The conspiracists amongst us are wondering what response HR will give to those who refuse the vaccine, but succumb to flu anyway.

Even more shocking, perhaps, the Social Committee Steering Group (I kid you not) is in the process of organising 'Lifestyle Lunch 'n' Learn Seminars' to encourage healthy work/life balance...

Insanity.

How about a " I'm off down safeways at lunchtime rather than sit with boring bastards from HR" seminar ?
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Just a thought, but are the people who run your firm scientologists ?

If only they were that simple. The truth is closer to pure evil I suspect.

And for the record, my department had an 'off down the pub for a couple to get away from the freaks' lunch 'n' learn today. Most edifying.
Which now explicitly violates one of the 17 behaviour-meriting-misconduct-proceedings paragraphs. As does being on here. And creating negative publicity merits a third strike.

Thank heavens I didn't mention the chisel-jawed intersex witch b***h whose policies these are. They really would frown upon that sort of language.
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Pure evil + Pharmaceuticals = Underground Cave Lair somewhere then. If you see a white cat around the place, follow it, and it will eventually take you to their leader. Then you can depose him.

vaccines are alway for before you get ill aren't they?

what will they say if you take a few days off from a vaccine reaction though?

Thank heavens I didn't mention the chisel-jawed intersex witch b***h

I think until the test results come out, we should keep our opinions of that particular athlete to ourselves.

The results were she was a hermaphrodite, werent they?

I made no mention of nationality..

which one then?

The very same, purely coincidentally.
Intersex wasn't a word I'd heard before. Hermaphrodites have been around forever, but intersexes? New to me.

I always used to confuse hermaphrodites with pomegranites.

So I guess intersex is for stupid people like me.

And, also, you can say to her "Are you intersex" and not get slapped.

"Are you intersex"

Yup. We've been there. So to speak.