Subject: Great Yarmouth

I'm going to Great Yarmouth this weekend, the route to get there passes horribly close to Norwich.

Is it safe for me to travel out there yonderrrr without any sausages, nor a tractor?

You could pack sausage sandwiches. Might do in a pinch.

Stick some big cardboard cut out wheels on the side of your car, they will never notice the difference.

And stick some corn in your mouth.

*thinks about making an incest-based joke, but leaves that to someone else*

Incest is suffolk. If you want to make that joke, you'll have to drive to Lowestoft. It's not far from Yarmouth and the roads out of Norfolk are good, we don't want those types what wants to go to suffolk round 'ere.

Sausages are less likely that doughnuts in Yarmouth. I dropped the Great because that was put there by an eager to please former mayor who worked for their tourist board. Expect to gain a stone while you're there, just to fit in more than anything else.
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So why hasn't the marketing dept. of Naarch added the prefix "Nausiating" or some such epithet?

Cos we don't sell doughnuts.

You need mushy peas to protect yourself in Great Yarmouth.

Going from Norfolk to Suffolk?

Are you trying to kill forestman? Everyone knows that outsiders disappear in the Norfolk/Suffolk line if they dare cross.

They don't disappear, they drown in the Waveney. They put a blue line on the maps to signify a river. Honestly, it's like explaining astrophysics to a cat. If he drives over the bridge in his car I'm sure he'll be fine. I know these are new concepts to you suffolkers, we only found out about them last summer, but you need to embrace change.
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Embracing change? Does that involve getting the odd 5 pence piece out of your pocket and start hugging and rubbing it?

Yes doughnut jimmy, it does. Just wait here while I chain you to this radiator. Nurse ? Jimmys' escaped again...

I look after my money but i'm not going to give my 5p's a big cuddle.

The pennies will be upset.

I'm going to Great Yarmouth this weekend, the route to get there passes horribly close to Norwich.


What happened to China? Have you been demoted at work?

yup. new location for a top secret Argon plant.

either that or the inlaws are having their holiday there and we have been forced to endure a weekend there eating icecream and avoiding bobby davro