Subject: Rat

It would be more cost-effective than burning your house down. Do you know anyone with a cat they could 'lend' you?

mouse trap. smidgen of mars bar as bait. put it up against the skirting board. Dispose of dead mice (unless you are Woppa).

In his uni days a mate of mine caught one behind the fridge by its paw, in an unbaited trap, it was pretty harsh on the mouse.

My dad caught quite a few in his toaster. They went in to get crumbs, couldn't get out, Pop turns up with his sliced bread, Zzzzzap! electro-mice!

Nice! Makes breakfast less of a rush.

tastes better than pop-tarts too.

Improved nutritional content; less molten in the middle?

I always wondered why you get frozen ones in the freezers at pet shops... They'd make rubbish pets.

as they thaw out you can pose them with little anti-vivisection posters. Hilarious. Think of them less as pets and more as furry Barbie.

Where's he hiding? Get your vacuum cleaner with a nozzle on a stick and shove it behind your furniture. Surely likely to get at least 1 mousey.

You can get ones that don't need bait. The plate that they press down is impregnated with some scent or other. Smells a bit like strawberries iirc.
If you get one that needs bait, I was told by a rentokil chappy that a finger of fudge (no, not the whole lot. Just cut a corner off.) is the best bet. He'd been to a job in a sweetie warehouse and they'd destroyed the fudges and left most of the rest alone.

Thats why I use mars bars. The sticky stuff means they cant get it off the trap and who can't resist chocolate! yum!

No idea, looked everywhere! Next door neighbour has 4 cats, who are all proficient at killing mice but they would probably be scared of coming in to my house and i'm allergic to the buggers.

I was pondering vacuum, and we are looking to get some traps today. I'm pretty sure it has only just arrived in the house, probably the bad weather or something.

Perhaps it's on its holidays.

I'm thinking it may have gone straight out again, can't find any traces of mouse anywhere in the house but we are still going to get some traps i think to be sure.

Not sure what that says about the state of your house gravy! ;-)

Hey Woppa, have you perhaps given thought to making a career out of it?
Catching rats and other such vermin for a living...?

This might have inadvertently been the start of a promising career move... :)

Woppa the Exterminator
or
Let's Woppa that Rat

;-)