Subject: World Police update

Hehehehehe. I've gotten more than 10 teams banned in the last week.

Hehehehehe.

You need to check out Purple Lazers. He gives his players steroids to make them run faster.

I understand that my secret labs are close to releasing a test for HGH. It involves squeezing testicles with a rusty vise, so I'm not sure the SPU (Sokker Players Union) will permit me to implement it on a wide scale, but I am seeking a special exception to use it on ....

STOKES.

i got 1 banned....

If Stokes was using super human steroids, he would have been able to play through his injury.

Get him a barometric chamber.

Nonono. What happens to steroid users is that they all of a sudden break down with freak injuries (e.g. Jose Conseco, Barry Bonds). It is the beginning of the end of Stokes' dominance. He'll be out for 3 weeks at a shot for the rest of his SK career, becuase he is a CHEATER.

That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.