Subject: »[PUB] Fun

Tak sa bavme aj tu ;-).
test
(edited)

Jezis bol uz viac a viac rozculeny drogovou situaciou na Zemi. Zvolal
nudzovu schodzku apostolov a po niekolkych hodinach sa dohodli, ze
potrebuju viac informacii. Takze apostoli sa dobrovolne rozhodli ist
dolu na zem a doniest vzorky kazdej drogy. Po par dnoch sa sa zacali
vracat: - Kto je tam? - pyta sa Jezis klopuceho na nebeske dvere. - Tu
je Pav ol. - Co si doniesol, Pavol? - otvoril mu Jezis dvere. - Hasis z
Maroka. -
Vyborne, pod dnu. ... - Kto je tam? - pyta sa Jezis klopuceho. - Tu je
Marek. - Co si doniesol, Marek? - otvoril mu Jezis dvere. - Marihuanu
s Kolumbie. - Vyborne, pod dnu. ... - Kto je tam? - pyta sa Jezis
klopuceho. - Tu je Matus. - Co si doniesol, Matus? - otvoril mu Jezis
dvere. - Kokain s Kolumbie. - Vyborne, pod dnu. ... - Kto je tam? - pyta
sa Jezis klopuceho. - Tu je Jan. - Co si doniesol, Jan? - otvoril mu
Jezis dvere. - Extazu z Montrealu. - Vyborne, pod dnu. ... - Kto je tam?
- pyta sa Jezis klopuceho. - Co si doniesol, Lukas? - otvoril mu
Jezis dvere. - Speed s Amsterdamu. - Vyborne, pod dnu. ... - Kto je tam?
- pyta sa Jezis klopuceho. - Tu je Judas. - Co si doniesol, Judas?
- otvoril mu Jezis dvere. - FBI!!! Ruky hore!!! Vsetci k stene!!!

No vybral jsem to z MF, mám za 2 měsíce maturitu, tak mě to zaujalo. Je to ukázka co všechno studenti už řekli:

"Winston Churchill v roce 1947 prohlásil, že se nad Evropou roztáhla zelená opona."

"What is Loch Ness famous for?" "For Dracula?"

"Tak třeba Západočeské papírny Brno," řekl student dotázaný na významné továrny v Čechách.

"I was born at home yesterday evening", řekl student. který byl vyzván, aby o sobě něco pověděl.

Kolik Ti je let? ...dle jednoho experta šprýmaře :-D

How much flight do you have?

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where here was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie.

He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!".

So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks." replied the cab driver. He then said, "And how much for you to suck my dick on the way?" "What?! Get the fuck out of my cab, you scum!" the cab driver said angrily. The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result - getting kicked out of each taxi.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied, "Fifteen bucks." The businessman said "Okay." and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

loool :D

nepochopil :(

Sir: John,do you call me a taxi ??
John: Yes, sir. You´re a taxi.
:-D:-D:-D:-D ftipny ze

Sir: "Jean, vejce."
Jean: "Natvrdo, nebo naměko"
Sir: "Ne ne, podrbat"

Par je poprve v posteli. Tak to tak delaji a zenska zacne kricet: "Uz to bude, ted prijde orgasmus!!!" Chlap se nasere, odhodi ji a rika: " No a ted kdyz jsme v nejlepsim prijde nakej Řek!"

Pepicek se rano vzbudi, prijde maminka a Pepicek rika: "mamnko, me se v noci zdalo o Marusce." A maminka na to: " To nevadi Pepicku, ja to vyperu."

Pepicek se rano vzbudi, prijde za nim maminka a Pepicek rika: "Maminko, me se v noci zdalo o Marusce." A maminka na to: "To nevadi, Pepicku, ja to vyperu."

Souložící pár: Ona říká: "Seš docela zdatnej na to, že je ti šedesát!" On odpoví: "Seš docela drzá na to, že je ti sedm!"

Stopuje Smrtka u cesty a po chvili ji zastavi kolem jedouci ridic: Teta, kam to bude? Ale, jedu jenom kousek, tamhle do ty zatacky.

Potkají se kluk a holka na nuda pláži. Ahoj, já jsem Honza, povídá on. Já jsem Martina, odvětí ona. Těší mě. To vidím.

Leží nahá žena na balkóně a opaluje se. Najednou se nad ní snese stín. Žena otevře oči a vidí na šňůrce lísteček se vzkazem: Jestli si chceš se mnou zasouložit, tak za tu šňůrku zatahej 2x a jestli ne, tak zatahej 40x a posledních deset rychleji.

Kovboj príde do baru, objedná si desať panákov whisky a jeden za druhým ich vrazí do seba.
Barmanovi sa to zdá pozoruhodné a tak sa ho pýta:
- Čo mladý, niečo oslavuješ?
- Áno, áno... Môj prvý orálny sex.
- To ti gratulujem človeče. To je skutočne významný deň. Daj si ešte jeden pohárik na účet podniku.
- Ďakujem šéfe, toto mi stačilo. Keď desať panákov whisky tú odpornú chuť v hube neprebije, tak jedenásty už sotva pomôže.

Pýta sa opitý robotník v krčme druhého:
"Prosím ťa, nevieš koľko je hodín?"
"Viem."
"Dík."

Ty sprosťáku :-D

Tady jeden slušnej...

Běží babka vedle Pendolina a to praví: "Babi pojďte,naskočte si,já Vás svezu" a babka na to: "To néé!Já spěchám!"