Subject: Naera herneks :)

see oli siiski mammal mitte jõehobu

A snake regurgitates a whole hippo. The snake must have been real hungry at the time, but we all know what buffets will do to you.

Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court and the judge says, "If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won't be sent to jail."

So the two men agree and the judge tells them to come back on Monday.

So the two guys come back on Monday and the judge asks how they did.

''I got 17 people to get off drugs,'' says the first guy.

''Wow, how'd you do that?'' asks the judge.

''I used circles. I told them that this large circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs.''

''Oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy. "I convinced 156 people to get off drugs.''

''Wow. How'd you do that?'' asked the judge.

''Well, I used circles too. I told them this small circle is your butthole before prison...''

Several men are in the locker room of a tennis club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, ....go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?" :D:D:D

mis madu see veel oli :S

sain siis teada mis arsenaliga juhtus

arsenal "penalty"
pires and henry had worked on a flashy penalty in training and decided to try it, in a premiership match no less! pires is meant to just knick the ball while henry runs on to it and strikes it. the timing was spot on but pretty pires failed to knick the ball, so henry abandoned ship. technically, since the ball never moved, arsenal should have been rewarded with a re-kick. the football gods, however, allowed the play to continue and pires and henry were left with their just desserts: a slice of humble pie and a blooper for the ages!

üks irc'u log: :D:D

(skatoni) will some one please help
(`NeXiGeN`) what's yer problem ?
(skatoni) there is a guy hacking into my computer
(`NeXiGeN`) unplug yer modem
(skatoni) how?
(`NeXiGeN`) see all those wires behind your computer box ?
(`NeXiGeN`) ripem all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]:
Connection reset by peer)

keegi võiks tõlkida inglise keelsed tekstid eesti keelde...siis saaksin mina ka aru :)

irw irw irw :)

(skatoni) Kas keegi võiks aidata palun
(`NeXiGeN`) Mis on su probleem ?
(skatoni) Üks tüüp püüab minu arvutisse hackida
(`NeXiGeN`) Ühenda oma modem lahti
(skatoni) Kuidas ?
(`NeXiGeN`) Näed neid kõiki juhtmeid sinu arvutikasti taga ?
(`NeXiGeN`) Tõmba nad kõik välja
*** skatoni lahkus IRC'st
(edited)

hea :p

Vaata

Mine pekki:D
Sitaks hea:D(Y)

Kohtunikud saavad rämedalt tappa seal. :)

lol

IRW!
See oli parim, kui Shearer andis kohtunikule punase :D
Ja Carrol oli kah äge.

Üks jättis oma puujala maha:D
Ja kui mees hakkas palli tühja väravasse lööma, siis lõi pallist mööda.